so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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