i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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