Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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