You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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