It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
