So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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