it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
