I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Found the puke drawer
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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