so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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