I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
