I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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