You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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