I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We have started to decorate penises.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
