I hope mine doesn't look like that
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
