Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize