About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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