ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
