Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
