nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
