Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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