She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Alive.
So much puke
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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