You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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