There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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