the day after is always just damage control
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
