You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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