Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
tell me about the fingering
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