Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
