my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
