Betty ford says i'm here all night
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
A bitchslap is in order.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
