I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
