You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
