The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You have to summon your inner elephant
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize