just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
