Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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