Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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