Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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