I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
