You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
