No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
the raccoons are back...
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