As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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