Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize