so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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