I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
