What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize