i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
