So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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