there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
