I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
