Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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