Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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