Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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