I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
