i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
