dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
